Fraying Edges | Depression Help

When Searching For Details About Depression Can Be A Problem.

As more and more people use the Internet, we have come to rely on searching for information online.

Sure, we may still go to the local library to look for a book which may help us, or watch particular programs on TV. But many of us are so used to the Internet, it is now our first port of call when we want to find something out.

Depression sufferers search for terms like Types of Depression. Those who have a relative suffering from a slimming disease, may search for the long term effects of Anorexia, in the hope they can show the sufferer why they need to seek help.

People taking antidepressants may want to know more about the drug they have been prescribed and how effective it is. In this case, they may search for an article about Prozac, or another depression drug.

Most of you reading Fraying Edges will have arrived here because you searched for a term similar to those mentioned above.

I would also guess that the majority of you would rather not have your search records kept for others to find.

Depression is still misunderstood in many communities and many people are still scared to admit they suffer from it, in case of the stigma this could bring.

Some people who are depressed wish to keep the details from their family and friends as long as possible, and particularly their work colleagues.

The last thing they want is for the search they made about depression being stored on their PC browser for future use.

But this is exactly what Google is doing now. They are storing records of your personal searches. Ostensibly, ‘to make your searching more effective’. But it is really about money - being able to provide you with ‘better adsense adverts’, so you will be enticed into purchasing something and thus make Google’s Adwords system more profitable.

There is also the fact that Google would like to control the Internet.

And no, that is not me being parnoid. Just think about how valuable Google is becoming to certain people, with the records they are able to keep from those of us who utilise all their ‘useful applications’.

Their Google Street View, their Google World…

If you want to read about how Google Is Spying On You, click that link. You may know some of the ways your searching is tracked, and it may not bother you right now. But after reading the examples given of how your online privacy can be affected, it could well make you think again.

That is, if you don’t mind them tracking you as you click through to the site (it is in part an adult blog, by the way, but nothing explicit).

But when you stop to think about how you search online and how you want your personal searches kept prvate, especially if they involve a subject like depression, then it will make you wonder whether you actually want to use Google as your search engine of choice.

You do not have to be suffering from depression (or paranoid) to feel that your rapidly diminishing privacy is being further eroded by the giant that is Google. But thinking that your searches on the subject of depression are being monitored, could make you feel even more depressed!

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Being Depressed And Failing To Communicate.

This post concerns one of my personal experiences of having communication problems when I was depressed. But before I begin, I need to say to regular readers, this is not an excuse for not posting here to Fraying Edges for a while (that’s simply down to pressure of work and hosting difficulties - which I still have to deal with…if only I can find the time and someone with the technical know how).

This post was actually prompted by something I read yesterday on a business forum!

The originating poster was asking why another forum member had returned online, as if they had never been away for the last two years. Several people responded, also complaining about the person in question. They expressed their annoyance that this person had disappeared without completing work they had said they would undertake.

However, when it came down to it, no one was accusing them of cheating. Everyone agreed that the work paid for had been carried out, very satisfactorily. It was just that they wanted more and the person had said they could deliver…

As it happened, today the ‘accused’ has answered those posts today, saying they were ill and unable to get online (no further details). They asked for their apologies to be accepted. Resulting answers were mixed…

This forum misunderstanding, brought back memories for me from a few years ago.

Around 2002-3, I used to run a Yahoo group. It was in the days when Paint Shop Pro was all the rage for bored housewives. They liked to join groups online and share their ‘creations’ and tips with others. I joined quite a few groups. My graphic skills aren’t particularly great, but in those days I began to think they could be.

It was while I was making my ‘online creations’ that I came upon the issue of copyright. It appeared that most group members were making their PSP images from pictures grabbed from anywhere on the net. They claimed ‘free usage’ and thought this was ok. I knew it wasn’t.

So I emailed all the artists whose work I wished to use and asked for their permission and conditions for use.

Amazingly, around 80% of these artists responded and of those, nearly 90% said I could use and transform their images, as long as I provided a link back to them as supplied. A small number even said I could use their work commercially, with conditions. Overall, this was a very successful (if time consuming) move.

So I set up my own Yahoo group. I posted the pictures, headers, email templates, etc., I had made, and constructed a database of ‘friendly’ artists people could use - as long as they contacted the artist first and followed their conditions for use.

This was a very time consuming task. Luckily, I was not going out to work at the time (I had a small toddler to care for and another baby whose arrival was imminent). And the task was an interesting one, to which I gave a great deal of time.

In a couple of months, the group grew to several hundred members (goodness knows why - I didn’t have a clue about getting traffic in those days). Some members added their own artist research to our database, but most just wanted to post their pictures, share our artist list, and wait patiently for further updates.

Then I gave birth to my second child. And it soon became clear (more to others at first) that I was suffering from post natal depression.

The Yahoo group was the last thing I wanted to deal with right then. Just getting through the day and caring for my children took all my mental strength.

My group members had sent me ‘new baby congrats’ posts by the hundreds. And at first they understood why I was not posting that often. But, as the weeks went by and my posts slithered away to nothing, annoyance and confusion began to take over the group.

It appeared I had abandoned them.

Weeks went by and became months. Group emails went unread, group projects remained untouched. Check ups on the artist database were not done. I simply could not bring myself to deal with any of it. It all seemed, not only a pointless waste of time, but it mentally hurt even to log in there.

Depression can make you feel this way. Things you enjoyed doing before, now seem so uninteresting and completely pointless, you feel real pain, when contemplating them.

I finally forced myself to email a couple of senior group members and told them I would not, and could not, post there any more. I told them by all means take over the group, and gave them the details to do so.

I didn’t go into long explanations as to why I was ‘abandoning them’. I doubted they would understand and I couldn’t be bothered to tell them anyway.

Then I logged off from the group, cancelled my email account with them, and never went back there again…

Until yesterday, after I found that forum post.

The group is still going strong (the membership has actually doubled) and people still post there regularly. But no one has added to the artist database, or made any changes to it since I was last there.

Nowadays it seems group members just chat and post the occasional ‘pic I have made’. Most of these appear to be in infringement of someone’s copyright. Obviously they haven’t read the ‘group rules’ and no one cares to point them out to them.

I could post and tell them this (I’m still, officially, a member). But I won’t bother. Even now, looking at that database, and remembering all the work involved in creating, it brings out a few ‘anxiety twinges’.

I just sighed and closed the browser.

And that is a rather long explanation of my experience of being unable to communicate effectively when I am depressed, and why it seems to cause so much confusion for others.

I guess, all I am saying here is, when you feel ‘abandoned’ by someone (online of offline), who seemed to be friendly, communicative and extremely helpful, unless they have actually caused you or your business any harm (unfinished work, unpaid debts, etc), then please don’t go off on a ‘rant’ as soon as they reappear.

It could just be that they had ‘issues’ which made it very difficult for them to communicate and thus, give you the acknowledgement you think you deserve.

Being ill, including being depressed, can make a person very uncommunicative. The feelings of ‘abandonment’ you are experiencing, when they fail to reply to your approaches, are down to you, not to the person who is failing to talk right now.

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I haven’t been able to post here for a while owing to hosting difficulties, but I just have to check in and post a special link here today.

It’s a Review Of The Secret.

And for those who have read my thoughts on self-help, you will understand why I find this particular review so useful

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The Parasites Who Make Money Out Of Depression Sufferers

As Fraying Edges Depression Help grows, I get more and more spam comments. Nothing strange about that, all bloggers get them. I just have a very quick scan through to see that no one has been ‘Akismeted’ by mistake and then press the delete button.

But what really gets to me are those who set up spam blogs about Depression and then scrape the feeds from the serious depression blogs (you find out about this when you check your ’spam pingbacks’). These (usually) partial feeds are then posted on the spam blog, which is (if the spammer has done his or her homework) very well optimised to receive adsense clicks.

The spam depression blog’s only interest is in making money from your suffering. Nothing more, nothing less. If you tried to post a comment asking for advice, you would either be faced with comments turned off, or a request to ‘log in to comment’ which, of course, would be denied.

Spammers are trying to make money. Nothing else. They do not give a flying fig whether you are in the depths of despair or even suicidal. They simply want you to click on their adsense adds and make them a few measly bucks.

Why do I know this? For several reasons. The first being that whenever I receive a ’spam pingback’ from one of these blogs, I go and check it out…and it will always be filled with the same old crap. They will also nearly always be made with Wordpress themes I recognise as being produced purely for internet marketing. I know because I use them myself.

Following on from that, the second reason I know about this is that I too am an internet marketer. I know just how to ’scrape’ a feed if I wanted to. I know about optimisation, backlinks, article marketing, content ’spinning’, and loads of other ‘tricks of the trade’. Do I use them? Sometimes (but I will not scrape anyone’s feed - I honestly think it’s wrong to take someone else’s thoughts without at least without making a damn good reference to them first), and I do not spam.

And I would never produce a ‘made for adsense’ blog on Depression. The subject is much too serious to be treated this way. It actually upsets me to think that there are so many people on the internet who really do not care about anything other than taking advantage of people’s suffering and trying to make money out of it.

You see, the concept behind this type of marketing is to ‘fill a need’. It’s as old as the hills and I use it myself when writing some of my marketing blogs. But there are some needs which can be filled without turning oneself into a predator.

Would I make a mfa blog on the very ‘profitable’ subject of weight loss, even though I suffer from (latent) Anorexia? Yes, and I have some out there, and they are highly optimised for adsense. But they are filled with my personal thoughts on the subject and stressing that slimming is ok in moderation, but how to do it without endangering your health. I actually think I can give some valuable input on that.

Do I make blogs about the ‘high on the agenda’ subject of how to get out of debt? Yes, I have a couple. But they are not filled with scraped articles, as the majority are; they are researched before I post and, again, they try to be helpful.

Then there is stuff which comes under the pseudonym of ‘mens’ health’ and fits very well on my adult blogs (which of course also fill a need even though some may think otherwise…). Is it harming anyone to read these articles? No, I don’t think so (although some of the ‘contraptions’ for ‘men’s health’ I would rather not think about…).

Basically, when it comes to marketing (on the internet or in ‘real life’), I think there are some ‘needs’ which can justifiably be approached and others which the uninformed person just trying to make a buck should steer clear of. And Depression and all mental illnesses fall into this latter category.

I even wonder whether the (very few) adverts I have on this blog are really worth having there? The book reviews are ok. I read them before advertising them, and the adverts for the ‘zen’ things are useful rather than harmful, but that ‘panic away’ button at the bottom of the blog I do wonder about…. The CD is okay though….

As for putting adsense on this blog. I did try it for a while, but as it was not even secondary to what this blog was about, it simply didn’t fit, and the adverts which appeared I felt woukl have been more distressing to the depression sufferer than helpful. So I took them off. Others manage this and still produce a helpful blog, but they are very careful how they treat the whole concept. It is not these depression bloggers I am talking about here - just the ‘mfa parasites’ and they know exactly who they are.

But anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. Those thoughts have been lingering away in the background for some time and just had to be expressed

And after that rant, I am wondering whether this article will be scraped for one of those ‘mfa depression blogs’? If it is, I hope the spammer actually reads it. But that is unlikely because he or she will have their ’scraper’ set on automatic and will never find out that I think they are close to being the scum of the earth…

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