Why Personal Development Does Not Help Us Overcome Depression
Jun 13th, 2008 by zania
As well as writing Fraying Edges Depression Help, I write a number of other blogs each day. I ‘take a break’ by reading other blogs and often making comments on them.
Although this can be time consuming, I find it an excellent way of switching my mind to something else, if it has got too bogged down in work. For me, this works as a way of relieving stress.
Among my ‘reading list’ are a couple of Personal Development blogs. These are definitely not depression blogs. The writers, even if they were depressed once, are certainly not depressed any more. They would say they have ‘worked on themselves’ and found their way to move on.
So, it could be argued that Personal Development would be a good way for a person who has recovered from Major Depression to find ways to beat a recurrence, or for someone who is struggling with the constant lowness of Dysthymia to find a way to drag themselves out of the greyness that surrounds their lives.
It could also be argued that working on our strengths and dealing effectively with our weaknesses would be a valuable way to cope with the everyday stresses, which could lead us into a bout of depression if we let them overwhelm us.
Developing as a person and becoming an achiever could also be seen as as way to ensure that at least some of the feelings of worthlessness which creep upon us when we are depressed can be overcome.
But for me, Personal Development does not work. In fact, I would go as far as to argue that there are:
Reasons Why Personal Development Does Not Help Us Overcome Depression.
- Many cases of Depression are clinical and ‘working on yourself’ cannot be achieved without some form of medicinal help.
- Someone who is suffering from Major Depression will not have the energy to ‘work on themselves’. Sometimes it will take all their strength simply to get out of bed.
- The feeling of worthlessness which often accompanies Major Depression, Dysthymia and the low stage of Bipolar Disorder are not simply ‘counter productive’ in Personal Development phraseology. These feelings are real to the sufferer of these forms of depression.
- Being told “the answer is within you” and “only you can be responsible for what happens to you”, is more likely to make a sufferer from Major Depression hate themselves even more than they probably do now. They already have a mind which they feel they cannot control and their depression could be causing chaos around them too. Telling them they are responsible could well push them over the edge.
- ‘Going inside yourself’ to discover the things which make you work as a person and ‘dealing with them effectively’ could actually be a downright dangerous proposition to suggest to someone suffering from Major Depression, whose internal conflicts are usually much better left unsolved until they are well enough to cope with them. Which is why Psychodynamic Therapy is usually only recommended when the depression sufferer is well on the way to recovery and the techniques applied are then unlikely to trigger a setback.
- Those suffering from Major Depression would most likely not have the strength or the inclination to ‘go inside themselves’ in the first place - it is usually from within themselves that they want to escape.
- The language of Personal Development is often based within two main forms: the ‘New Age’ idea of ‘You are your own world’, or the ‘positive action’ speak of the entrepreneur. Neither of these language forms translate particularly well across cultures and geographical regions. For example, what sounds good in California USA is often met with derision in many parts of the UK, because it simply does not fit the UK culture of ‘healthy scepticism’ which has developed there as part of the national thought pattern. Telling someone that their inherited thought patterns are ‘unproductive’ would be like insulting their cultural history.
For the above reasons (and more I could add if this post wasn’t rather long already), I do not believe that Personal Development is a useful way to cope with Clinical Depression, Major Depression, Bipolar Disorder or many forms of Dysthymia.
Nevertheless, for someone suffering from Minor Depression, or who is stressed by confusion within their life and work, some of the tactics suggested by the followers of Personal Development could work, especially those more in line with the Buddhist philosophy of mindfulness combined with active meditation.
But the harsher teachings of ‘You are Ultimately Responsible for Your Life’ cannot, in my opinion, help someone suffering from Depression in any form. The depression sufferer is already trying to overcome their feelings of worthlessness, and telling them they have no one to blame but themselves will not help them in any way at all.
[...] nothing to deserve what has befallen us. It is just an unfortunate part of living on this earth. You may already have read that the idea that ‘we are ultimately reponsible for our lives’ is not a belief I hold [...]
I agree. I may not have at one time, but I certainly do now. The problem is that I bought into the whole ” self improvement” notion to the point that I went to college and studdied psychology. I assumed that quelling the aches that I was feeling would be accomplished if I just acheived and pulled myself out of the pain. College proved to be an easy means, an out, so to speak, a temporary delusion of hope. The problems arise when the added expectation of succuss falls through. When after you acheive, get a job in your profession, and fail due to depression, this makes you loathe yourself even more. I know that the feelings we experience are unfathomable to some, but they are there, like it or not. Do they think that we want or could control how we feel? God only knows, If I could control this somehow, I would in an instant. To try to describe the visceral pain would be like telling someone to immagine the worst day of your life times 5 and add the most terrifying experience you have ever endured and have to endure it every day for hours of the day except for sleep. Think back to a time when you did something wrong and didn’t want your parents to find out about it, like getting a bad grade ( mind you I am 36 and do remember what that was like) add all of this together and you still have just scraped the surface of the pain that Major Depression and Anxiety can cause an individual.There is no focus on something else and you cant just “pull out of it” no matter what you tell yourself. I have tried denial and hiding the depression and anxiety, for the sake of my carreer, my family, my namesake that I worked so hard to get untill it bubbled over and now, it is to the point that my lack of concentration, locked muscles, dry mouth, pounding heart and overwhelming sadness, dred and uncontrolable crying have caused me to have to go on a leave of absence from work. From what I have gathered, it could take more time than my job will allow to get through this, so now, I have to add the pressure of being terminated or having to quit before this occurs. By god, If I could make this go away I would in an instant. If I could make the pain dissapear by myself I would walk across fire. This pain is more consuming than most physical pains I have ever experienced and it is unrelenting.
Sherma,
Thank you so much for commenting here.
You put into words very well the things those who have never experienced major depression and anxiety will never even begin to understand.
I could not add to that even if I tried, because the pain you express speaks volumes.
That post I made was a rather ‘angry’ post, as I had just read another ‘you can do it’ type ’self-help’ blog and was feeling pretty low. I just wanted to shout at the writer “for chrisake, you do not have a *** **** clue!” But there would have been no point. I would have been shouting at ears which do not want to hear.
Your response here makes me feel that way again. I wish I could help make the pain go away for you, but of course, I can’t.
All I can say is, I have felt what you are feeling right now and it is the most frightening, all-consuming feeling. Even the thought of going there again (which I just know I will) fills me with renewed dread. And all I can add to that is that I (like you on previous occasions) have been through this and come out the other side, and I guess that’s some kind of ‘hope’, but right now, I know those are very shallow words to hear (as, I also guess, are my closing words).
Do take care Sherma, and thank you so much for commenting here.
I really do mean that.
Zania
I would agree, personal development is unlikely to cure depression, but as you observe for people who have overcome this dreadful curse access to very positive people & influences can be a wonderful experience.
With the web now access to wonderful learning and roll models has never been easier.
Has there ever been a better time for self enrichment on whatever level?