Comments on: Family Relationships Hurt http://frayingedges.com/2008/07/family-relationships-hurt/ Overcoming depression in a stress filled world Sun, 05 Sep 2010 17:32:31 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: zania http://frayingedges.com/2008/07/family-relationships-hurt/#comment-434 zania Thu, 02 Oct 2008 02:27:38 +0000 http://frayingedges.com/?p=48#comment-434 Hello Joy, I'm sorry I didn't answer your comment before, but I have been rather 'down' of late and to be honest, your comment hurt to answer, as it reminded me of my relationship with my Mum for many years. And it also reminded me of the way my brother reacted towards my Mum after my Dad's death. My brother was patronising and even physically abusive to her. He scared us daughters so much that we were afraid to step in and help Mum, even though we wanted to. For him, it was a 'puberty thing', coupled with grief, and he did grow out of it, but not without a lot of hearbreak on all sides. As to my relationship with my Mum when I was a teenager, well that was down to a clash of characters (very alike, but not wishing to accept it) and I was an absolute bitch to her, even though I never stopped loving her at any moment of time. It's cold comfort, I know, to tell you that, but I do believe that your children still have a lot of love for you, but growing up and circumstances around them is getting in the way of them showing it. I don't know what else to say that would make you feel any better about this. Yes, I could come out with the well-worn cliches about them 'coming around' (and I guess I have above, in a round about way), and most teenagers do, eventually. But when you love your children deeply, as most of us do, the waiting seems endless. Thanks for your comment Joy and I truly hope things are better for you all real soon. Hello Joy,
I’m sorry I didn’t answer your comment before, but I have been rather ‘down’ of late and to be honest, your comment hurt to answer, as it reminded me of my relationship with my Mum for many years. And it also reminded me of the way my brother reacted towards my Mum after my Dad’s death. My brother was patronising and even physically abusive to her. He scared us daughters so much that we were afraid to step in and help Mum, even though we wanted to.
For him, it was a ‘puberty thing’, coupled with grief, and he did grow out of it, but not without a lot of hearbreak on all sides.

As to my relationship with my Mum when I was a teenager, well that was down to a clash of characters (very alike, but not wishing to accept it) and I was an absolute bitch to her, even though I never stopped loving her at any moment of time. It’s cold comfort, I know, to tell you that, but I do believe that your children still have a lot of love for you, but growing up and circumstances around them is getting in the way of them showing it.

I don’t know what else to say that would make you feel any better about this.
Yes, I could come out with the well-worn cliches about them ‘coming around’ (and I guess I have above, in a round about way), and most teenagers do, eventually. But when you love your children deeply, as most of us do, the waiting seems endless.

Thanks for your comment Joy and I truly hope things are better for you all real soon.

]]> By: M Joy Vitale http://frayingedges.com/2008/07/family-relationships-hurt/#comment-397 M Joy Vitale Tue, 23 Sep 2008 05:08:36 +0000 http://frayingedges.com/?p=48#comment-397 I appreciate what you wrote here. I have 2 teens, a boy, 16, and a girl 18. My son and I were close until puberty, and then Dad became The One. He's now modeling Dad's treatment of me (disdainful, dismissive). My daughter is so prickly I can hardly have a two-sentence conversation with her without her getting upset at "my tone of voice". she jumps at every little thing, and as a consequence I am withdrawing from her and only converse breifly about superficialities. This is deeply heart-breaking to me, as we were all close when they were small. I have heard they will eventually "come around" but that is cold comfort when my heart is breaking...... I appreciate what you wrote here. I have 2 teens, a boy, 16, and a girl 18. My son and I were close until puberty, and then Dad became The One. He’s now modeling Dad’s treatment of me (disdainful, dismissive).

My daughter is so prickly I can hardly have a two-sentence conversation with her without her getting upset at “my tone of voice”.
she jumps at every little thing, and as a consequence I am withdrawing from her and only converse breifly about superficialities.
This is deeply heart-breaking to me, as we were all close when they were small. I have heard they will eventually “come around” but that is cold comfort when my heart is breaking……

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