Comments on: Does Being A Cynic Make You More Depressed? http://frayingedges.com/2008/08/does-being-a-cynic-make-you-more-depressed/ Overcoming depression in a stress filled world Sat, 13 Mar 2010 21:49:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: When Hosting Makes You Stressed! | Fraying Edges | Depression Help http://frayingedges.com/2008/08/does-being-a-cynic-make-you-more-depressed/#comment-356 When Hosting Makes You Stressed! | Fraying Edges | Depression Help Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:16:30 +0000 http://frayingedges.com/?p=56#comment-356 [...] anyone is wondering why I have not posted here since 15th August, when I wrote about Cynicism and Depression, it is partly because I have been busy doing all my other work online, but mainly because the [...] [...] anyone is wondering why I have not posted here since 15th August, when I wrote about Cynicism and Depression, it is partly because I have been busy doing all my other work online, but mainly because the [...]

]]> By: Andy Alt http://frayingedges.com/2008/08/does-being-a-cynic-make-you-more-depressed/#comment-267 Andy Alt Mon, 25 Aug 2008 13:52:47 +0000 http://frayingedges.com/?p=56#comment-267 Complex? I was going for profound. :) Thanks for the well-wishes, yes, I'm doing okay. Complex? I was going for profound. :)

Thanks for the well-wishes, yes, I’m doing okay.

]]> By: zania http://frayingedges.com/2008/08/does-being-a-cynic-make-you-more-depressed/#comment-264 zania Mon, 25 Aug 2008 08:09:10 +0000 http://frayingedges.com/?p=56#comment-264 @Andy, Hey, you're back! Hope everything is okay with you. I'll pop over later on to see. And my god that is a complex statement you have just made! And I agree, we cannot just start 'thinking positive' overnight - heaven forbid! I worked in sales for a while when I was at Uni, and I was constantly berated for 'not thinking positive enough', but the sales manager's idea of 'positive thinking' was all about pushing the products. I just couldn't do it, even though the commission would have been good. But as for trust, yes, it has to begin somewhere and to trust we have to lower our defences. And that's when it can all come unstuck - for me anyhow - because it is when I have given my complete trust (and let it be known that I have) it has always come back to hit me in the face... But that's another story... or stories.... Hmmm, gaining a balance between cynicism and actual mistrust... interesting... I'll have to think more about that one. Thanks! :) @Andy,
Hey, you’re back!
Hope everything is okay with you. I’ll pop over later on to see.

And my god that is a complex statement you have just made!
And I agree, we cannot just start ‘thinking positive’ overnight - heaven forbid!
I worked in sales for a while when I was at Uni, and I was constantly berated for ‘not thinking positive enough’, but the sales manager’s idea of ‘positive thinking’ was all about pushing the products. I just couldn’t do it, even though the commission would have been good.

But as for trust, yes, it has to begin somewhere and to trust we have to lower our defences. And that’s when it can all come unstuck - for me anyhow - because it is when I have given my complete trust (and let it be known that I have) it has always come back to hit me in the face…
But that’s another story… or stories….

Hmmm, gaining a balance between cynicism and actual mistrust… interesting… I’ll have to think more about that one.
Thanks! :)

]]> By: zania http://frayingedges.com/2008/08/does-being-a-cynic-make-you-more-depressed/#comment-263 zania Mon, 25 Aug 2008 07:59:01 +0000 http://frayingedges.com/?p=56#comment-263 @Mark, Hmmm, very true, people do have complex motivations and many of these are good. The strange thing is, I am more like your partner than you may think. I have been subject to being kicked around a bit... but I do have an inherent optimism (which is strange I guess for someone who suffers from depression, but for me is probably a saving factor). I'm one of these people who will get up, brush myself down and start all over again... and again... and again... If I'm in the right mood, that is ;) But you can see the underlying cynicism even in that last statement... Strange isn't it, how we can react differently to childhood experiences? I have no idea what it was ike to have an idylic childhood, but from where I came from at the time, I guess I would have wanted to have one! But I can understand how that could leave you open to being unable to accept the greyness of the adult World. Us humans are definitely complex creatures aren't we? @Mark,
Hmmm, very true, people do have complex motivations and many of these are good.
The strange thing is, I am more like your partner than you may think. I have been subject to being kicked around a bit… but I do have an inherent optimism (which is strange I guess for someone who suffers from depression, but for me is probably a saving factor).
I’m one of these people who will get up, brush myself down and start all over again… and again… and again…
If I’m in the right mood, that is ;)
But you can see the underlying cynicism even in that last statement…

Strange isn’t it, how we can react differently to childhood experiences? I have no idea what it was ike to have an idylic childhood, but from where I came from at the time, I guess I would have wanted to have one!
But I can understand how that could leave you open to being unable to accept the greyness of the adult World.

Us humans are definitely complex creatures aren’t we?

]]> By: Andy Alt http://frayingedges.com/2008/08/does-being-a-cynic-make-you-more-depressed/#comment-259 Andy Alt Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:52:20 +0000 http://frayingedges.com/?p=56#comment-259 For the most part, trust has to be earned. I say, "for the most part" because, usually, you have to start trusting in order to develop friendships and relationships. But there are signs to watch for that helps me when I decide if I want to trust someone a little. Maybe that old saying isn't true, maybe earning trust isn't really necessary. It's more important to stop trusting if your trust has been betrayed, than to only trust someone who has earned it. Trust has to start somewhere, some initial act of lowering your defenses. As for being negative or cynical, yes I think it contributes to depression, but it's also very difficult to find a balance. To realize that it may be increasing one's depression is one thing, but one can't decide to start thinking positive overnight. It must be developed over time by recognizing when being negative is a pointless exercise and serves only to make a complaint come out of a mouth. And balancing mistrust and cynicism to guard yourself is still important, but it's helpful when it's not on the level of paranoia or prevents you from functioning as a happy person; it's much better when it's balanced with realistic views and some effort to recognize good things and try to avert your mind when you notice something negative. Or something like that. For the most part, trust has to be earned. I say, “for the most part” because, usually, you have to start trusting in order to develop friendships and relationships. But there are signs to watch for that helps me when I decide if I want to trust someone a little. Maybe that old saying isn’t true, maybe earning trust isn’t really necessary. It’s more important to stop trusting if your trust has been betrayed, than to only trust someone who has earned it. Trust has to start somewhere, some initial act of lowering your defenses. As for being negative or cynical, yes I think it contributes to depression, but it’s also very difficult to find a balance. To realize that it may be increasing one’s depression is one thing, but one can’t decide to start thinking positive overnight. It must be developed over time by recognizing when being negative is a pointless exercise and serves only to make a complaint come out of a mouth. And balancing mistrust and cynicism to guard yourself is still important, but it’s helpful when it’s not on the level of paranoia or prevents you from functioning as a happy person; it’s much better when it’s balanced with realistic views and some effort to recognize good things and try to avert your mind when you notice something negative.

Or something like that.

]]> By: Mark http://frayingedges.com/2008/08/does-being-a-cynic-make-you-more-depressed/#comment-252 Mark Sun, 24 Aug 2008 14:07:34 +0000 http://frayingedges.com/?p=56#comment-252 There is a possibility that you could be wrong: it may not be your cynicism that's making you depressed, but it could be your unwillingness to accept that people have complex motivations - some of which are selfish - and your inability to forgive that's making you prone to melancholia. I know people that have been abused, cheated, kicked about and subject to the most horrific misfortunes, and they remain calm, stoic, positive and contented, and still feel comfortable in trusting others and maintaining meaningful friendships. Conversely, I know people whose idyllic and protected childhoods left them unable to accept to the moral grayness of the adult world, and who reacted by becoming bitter, mistrustful, hostile and deeply unhappy long before their time. I'm one of the latter and my partner is one of the former, and I'm having to learn slowly from his example that you can be open with people in a way that doesn't advertise you as a soft touch, that others can be relied upon and enjoyed, and that their lack of character can be brushed off as something that is simply not your problem. It takes a lot of strength, but it can be done. There is a possibility that you could be wrong: it may not be your cynicism that’s making you depressed, but it could be your unwillingness to accept that people have complex motivations - some of which are selfish - and your inability to forgive that’s making you prone to melancholia.

I know people that have been abused, cheated, kicked about and subject to the most horrific misfortunes, and they remain calm, stoic, positive and contented, and still feel comfortable in trusting others and maintaining meaningful friendships.

Conversely, I know people whose idyllic and protected childhoods left them unable to accept to the moral grayness of the adult world, and who reacted by becoming bitter, mistrustful, hostile and deeply unhappy long before their time.

I’m one of the latter and my partner is one of the former, and I’m having to learn slowly from his example that you can be open with people in a way that doesn’t advertise you as a soft touch, that others can be relied upon and enjoyed, and that their lack of character can be brushed off as something that is simply not your problem.

It takes a lot of strength, but it can be done.

]]> By: Family Cynicism « I Think, Therefore … http://frayingedges.com/2008/08/does-being-a-cynic-make-you-more-depressed/#comment-223 Family Cynicism « I Think, Therefore … Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:26:47 +0000 http://frayingedges.com/?p=56#comment-223 [...] her. But I found the blog at last and it opened on what I think is the latest entry - a post about cynicism and depression. Just reading it I knew it was her before even checking the [...] [...] her. But I found the blog at last and it opened on what I think is the latest entry - a post about cynicism and depression. Just reading it I knew it was her before even checking the [...]

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